Harry Potter

February 5, 2007



Th31r 0v3rz

January 13, 2007

Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake have — gasp! — broken up with each other.

No! Say it ain’t so! Could the 9-year age gap have something to do with it?!

Sigh. I swear, these celebrities are as dumb as posts.

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

September 4, 2006


Excellent summary of just who and what Steve Irwin was.

You did a great show my man, and you never failed to make us laugh. The hole in our hearts will be filled with the happy memories you gave us, and the knowledge you worked so hard to impart.

We’re gonna miss you like hell. God speed.

The Good

Hysterical quotes.
“Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” — Benjamin Franklin

“The problem is not that we have too many fools, it’s that the lightning isn’t distributed right.” — Mark Twain

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.” — Mel Brooks

“I’ve been accused of vulgarity. I say that’s bullshit.” — Mel Brooks

More at Quote DB.

The Bad

North Korea fired several “test missiles” at us. Well, not us specifically. First they fired two SCUD missiles in the sky to distract our missile defense system, WHILE we were making sure space shuttle Discovery didn’t blow up. Then they fired a missile — directly at the US. Fortunantly, the missile turned out to be a dud; it aborted a little over half and hour into flight, and fell into the ocean. Right after that missile though, they fired three more missiles.
The Ugly

The third missile turned out to be the long-range missile everyone was worried about:

The long range missile was thought to be a Taepodong 2 and failed around 35 minutes after launch, US state department officials said on Wednesday.

Though Pentagon confirmed that six missiles had been launched, South Korean officials said North Korea tested 10 short, medium and long-range missiles.

John Bolton, the US ambassador to the United Nations, said the United States was “urgently consulting” other UN Security Council members about the launches.

US officials said the North Korean military first fired two Scud-type short-range missiles that landed in the Sea of Japan and then the Taepodong 2 that “failed early in flight.” 

Three more launches were detected later.

Stephen Hadley, the US national security adviser, said the launch was not a threat to the United States but added that the tests were considered “provocative behavior” by North Korea.


Shinzo Abe, the Japanese chief cabinet secretary, described the launches as “a grave problem in terms of peace and stability.”

 We’re just doomed, aren’t we?

Why, God, WHY?

June 3, 2006

LIFE STYLE EXTRA (UK) – Angelina Jolie has snapped up a website for her new daughter, Shiloh Nouvel.

The actress wasted no time in making sure the baby would feature on the internet by securing the rights to her internet domain name the day she was born.

Angelina and partner Brad Pitt welcomed their new arrival into the world on Saturday (27.05.06) and hours later Angelina's legal team had snapped up the web address Shilohnouveljoliepitt.com.

Why is it that everyone from Hollywood has shit for brains? Why is it that not a single one of them can COMMIT? Geez, it's just like all the girls I know from high school; they can't keep a boyfriend for more than a day. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. Top THAT Angy-girl.

And here's another movie that I have to see, one way or another:

Without any apparent visual assistance, Leito leaps off rooftops and sails, feet first, through a transom window. I would have gasped at that last stunt, but before I could muster the air, Morel and his crew had moved on to the next trick, which is two seconds away. Belle helped create parkour, and watching him climb along walls and scurry down the sides of buildings, you might be tempted to alert the makers of “X-Men." At the very least, he makes Spider-Man look like a potato bug. Eventually, Leito is nabbed and jailed, but it's only to give him a rest. …
But fancy feet aside, “District B13" is a movie of its moment. The housing project here is compared by one character to Baghdad, but it could double as Beirut or the South Bronx. The checkpoints at the entrance and the soldiers guarding them give the place a West Bank feel. As a metaphor for new-school government policy regarding the poor, the film's last act is beyond absurd — but not really when you listen closely to how, during last year's riots in France, the muckety-mucks absolved themselves from any responsibility for the catastrophe.

Remarkably, the film keeps a lid on its anger over the cités until the finale, which manages to shake its fists at the government in a manner that produces the thrill not only of catharsis but of truth. Suddenly, the film's generic title seems appropriate. B13 could be anywhere.

God. Thank you. At last, someone (or someones) that can comprehend the consaquences of France's actions.

The French government is so obsessed with being popular with the immigrants that they have no problem sacrificing the lives the country's citizens. All the immigrants have to do is make a little frowny face and the government falls over trying to give them what they want, no matter what the cost is to the social fabric. In Holland, women are assualted and raped practically every day because they don't wear headscarves — even if they aren't Islamic.  The governent refuses to do anything about it.

When those immigrants in France think that all the poor people are too much of a problem, this is exactly what they'll demand.

Oh, did I say France? I meant ALL the European countries.

Link(s): Angy-Wangy, The Totally Bangy

Distroct B13

United 93

April 30, 2006

The hysterical screaming that the release of United 93 has come "too soon", that Americans "need more time" are being made by people that don't want the citizens of this country to remember. They don't want is to remember the pain, they don't want us to remember the anger. They don't want us to go out and punish the goddamn, so-called "Jihadists."

Holy war, my ass. These people just don't want America marching out into the world and giving every human being their rights, since that would mean the dictators and tyrants would have to give up their power.

Either way, I really want to see this movie.

This is rich:

Tom Cruise has not toned down his enthusiasm at all now that fiancée Katie Holmes has given birth to their daughter. The birth "was everything that we wanted it to be," the actor, who once hopped up and down on a couch to profess his love for Holmes, said in an interview on ABC's "20/20."

Well, if he loves her so much than why doesn't he do the right thing and marry her? I still think that he's going to try and take custody of the kid as well as knock a nice bundle of money out of this poor woman. Apparently she was a good little girl when she was in highschool, but then she met Cruise and had her brain exchanged for air.

Ah, well.

In other news, the Star Trek franchise is being resurrected:

J.J. Abrams will direct the 11th in the big screen series that began in 1979, reports Daily Variety, adding that it's expected to be released in the third quarter of 2008. …This screenplay will focus on the early days of 'Star Trek' stalwarts, James Kirk and Mr Spock, covering their first meeting and outer-space mission.

The article also complains about how the tenth movie, Star Trek: Nemesis, did badly at 48 million flop. The stupidity astounds me. They released the movie merely days before The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers; they knew perfectly well that Nemesis would not be able to stand up to the onslaught of Ringers running for the theatres.



The Star Trek Article

The Twu Wuv Article

Cruise has thoughtfully (suuure) cleared up the issue of "silent birth":

Cruise explained that "quiet birth," which aims to minimize talk and other noise inside the delivery room," is "basically just respecting the mother."

"She does what she's gotta do," he explained in the interview that aired last week, addressing speculation that such a practice would deny her pain medication. "If she needs medicine, she needs medicine."

I can't help feeling that this is a response to at least some outrage expressed over the publicized conditions of the child's birth; last I heard, women weren't allowed any drugs at all.

Maybe I'm just being paranoid. At any rate, I've decided that somehow, someway, I'm going to see these movies:

The fun of "Scary Movie 4" is that it isn't a movie at all. Organized on the principle of parody, not plot, driven by gags and cultural feedback, it's an exercise in lowbrow postmodernism, a movie-movie contraption more nuts than Charlie Kaufman's gnarliest fever dream. It's cleverly stupid. … "Scary Movie 4" is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). Naughty jokes and rough language are spoken. Bodies are much abused and loudly emptied of their waste."

Madonna Madness

April 13, 2006

"After confirming that there were some difficulties in the marriage of Madonna and his son Guy Ritchie, John Ritchie has stated that the couple will stay together for the sake of their children." — The Star Online eCentral, Google news.
Honestly people, can we just admit that Madonna is an idiot, and move on?